Channel Nine - the bottom of the barrel? Lets hope so….

Whilst my co-blogger would have you all believe Channel Ten is the worse TV channel currently broadcasting across Australia, then Ladies and Gentlemen may I strongly suggest you put the kettle on, take a seat, crack open the chocolate digestives and make yourself comfy as I have some very bad news for you all....

I am not even going to attempt to launch some form of counter argument defense of Channel Ten - as quite frankly it doesn't deserve it, J is correct it is truly awful broadcaster. (Although does gain minor credits in my book for showing The Simpsons). That said however in my humble opinion the bar has been plunged to previously thought (and feared) impossible new depths with one click of the remote..

I give you the Packer family owned Channel Nine..


Nine is pretty much a low as it gets in terms of TV, you feel dirty after watching Nine even for a few short minutes, that's enough to kill a few vital brain cells you'll never get back, it leaves you confused, bewildered, dismayed, and angry simultaneously - if in a good mood you may let out a little chuckle at what you just saw but its going to sound like the laugh of a madman about to go on a killing spree... and then as the realisation dawns on you, what have I just experienced? you have this overwhelming urge to jump in the shower and scrub yourself clean..


If the BBC is the good looking, popular,straight A student, captain of the football/netball teams - liked, respected by all, and modest with it. Then Channel Nine is the fat, spotty, dumb, Manchester United supporting school bully, asshole, twat, who everyone despises and is destined for a life of petty crime and claiming dole benefits....


Its difficult to know where to start with Nine..... the poorly delivered, inaccurate and laughable news bulletins? The supposedly hard hitting "A Current Affair" show that blatantly lies week after week and get away with it. Perhaps "The Footy Show" ? Without doubt the most sexist, racist, offensive show on TV, full of male bigots who are clearly a least a couple of stages behind the rest of of society on the "Evolution of Man" diagram in both the physical and mental sense - here is one small example of their work...

*warning content may offend viewers with a half a brain and a soul*
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0-0z6YXfA9s


Nine also offers endless reality TV shows for our enjoyment.... "Farmer wants a bit", "Australia's most revolting couple", "Dance your fat ass off".....


and then when they need to fill in a few hours - just play endless American crime dramas, CSI Miami/New York/Las Vegas, NCIS, Numbers, SVU... until everyone loses the will to live, goes to bed, thinks of their happy place and hopes it was all just a bad dream.




What should be the cause of major alarm for all of us is that with the dawn on digital TV, Nine have several new licenses for extra 24 hour channels! If they manage to put this much trash on one channel can you imagine what they will fill another one or two channels with?!? 24 hours of Burt Newton doing 2000 to 1 with commentary from E-List Channel Nine celebrities anyone? No me neither...


We can only be thankful that despite the appalling trash on Australia's three main commercial channels (Seven, Nine and Ten), there is hope that turning on the TV in this country needn't necessarily result in you being digitally assaulted. The ABC and SBS continue to broadcast decent news coverage, excellent documentaries, great dramas and some good entrainment to boot.

So Mr Ahmadinejad before you going aiming your nice little rockets at the Ten studios - may I suggest the greater evil can be found at Nine.... and if you need a trail target - feel free to aim for the Crown Casino while your at it..

Many Thanks